Category Archives: Resistance

How to Build Bridges in Business and in Life

My Grandpa was a cabbage and lettuce farmer and for many years as a young curious girl,  I watched  him work and helped him harvest the crops. There is nothing else he would have rather done. It was in his bones.  I asked him one day if  I could take a turn driving  ‘Ole Blue’ as he called his rusty and reliable tractor.   He responded, “Have you been paying attention?  Yes Sir.”IMG_0032

Pulling his hankerchief from his pocket, he wiped the sweat off his brow, stepped down and said,  “Well, get up there and give it a go.”

 Like my Grandpa, many of us  feel driven by a purpose or calling- to start our own business,  become a life coach, create a blog,  write a book,  or get healthy.  Or perhaps even wish to master the art of staying calm under pressure. Yep, a few of these are on my list too.  So, how do we do this and meet with success?  

There are four key factors in building  bridges and accomplishing our goals: 

1.  Know the leaders/competitors 

Seek out and study those in the industry  and in life who have thrown themselves In the Arena and become champions in their field. What skill sets, resources and connections do they possess?

2.  Be their customer/follower

Listen to their story. Pay attention to the characteristics and behaviors of those you wish to emulate. Demonstrate loyalty to their product and service and reciprocity is sure to follow.

3.  Be their partner

True leaders want to see and help others succeed. What will your contributions be in this relationship? How can you help build them up? 

4.  Create your own niche

Be authentically You.  Focus on your unique talents, skills, traits and passions . This is one of the most important tools needed in building bridges in both our professional and personal lives.

Here are a few of the leaders in their respective industries that I follow and partner with who encourage, motivate and greatly inspire me to  step  In the Arena  in accomplishing my goals and reaching my dreams.

pressfield 2

*Steven Pressfield author of The War of Art, Turning Pro and The Legend of Bagger Vance- made into a major motion film starring Will Smith and Matt Damon.  Pressfield   offers invaluable wisdom  and great insight on  beating Resistance often disguised as our Muse.

*David Scott Mann– 

Founder of Lead Strong  leadership coaching, author, real estate investor , mentor and veteran- Lt. Colonel(ret), Army Special Forces Green Beret.  Scott’s expertise and skills extend well beyond the battlefield; training others to connect, succeed  and leave deep tracks  in this world through the power of storytelling. An Elite Leader like no other.

*Danny Ray Jr.–  Contributing writer- Life Hack,  and creator of  Dream Big, Dream Often .   Danny is a visionary  and community leader both on and offline with a seemingly inexhaustible reserve for helping others recognize and reach their dreams. A dedicated servant and advocate for those whose lives have been impacted by Multiple Scerlosis. The world could use a few more Danny’s.

Dreams

“Pay attention and give it a go”  Grandpa 

 

 

The Comforts of the Shadow

In the shadow of ourselves we worry not. We punch the time clock promptly @ 5 pm and hurry home to prop our feet up and forget about the day. Not a minute more will we exert ourselves for that  crappy paying job.  In the comfort of the shadow, we proclaim the police or local neighborhood watch group will take care of the recent string of burglaries wreaking havoc all around us. Never does it occur- that we should stand guard.

The shadow is our safety net; it is what author Steven Pressfield refers to in his book The War of Art as Resistance.  Resistance is the consummate lover of fear, rationalization as to why you can’t or won’t do what your heart longs  to do. This clever enemy will suffocate your soul with self doubt and familial critics.

It is a slow and sinister dance with the devil disguised as your Muse.

Steady your gait, feet properly aligned, eyes fixated on the rope, slow your breathing. Yes! You’ve done it. You peer back at the tightrope with great adulation. The rope is 20 feet off the ground and the net gleams with pride. With a sly grin and a wink of the eye, Resistance calls it a night. His work is done.

Nik Wallenda, the American acrobat has set nine Guinness World Records walking tightropes and riding bicycles at great heights soaring far above packed soil.

He got out of his way and chucked the net.

Ever breathed in the endless beauty of Yosemite National Park? Walked quietly among the Badlands?yosemite-national-park-landscape-scenery

Teddy Roosevelt stepped out of the shadow of his unspeakable grief and preserved these natural wonders and wildlife  into an everlasting gift of 150 million acres of national forests, created the USFS and many national parks throughout the land that we still enjoy today.

Whatever calling or gift we possess within us- story teller, healer, protector, acrobat or conservationist must be excised from the soft silhouette and catapulted into the world.

Be not among the timid souls but dare greatly in stepping out from the comforts of the shadow and into The Arena.

6 Tips for Embracing Struggle

Sitting down in front of the laptop, I begin to type away.  I pause again and again.  Twisting about in my chair… I get up  for a glass of water.  I sit and stare again at the bright glaring screen.  It’s screaming at me… “TYPE SOMETHING, FOR GOODNESS SAKE.”

fed up

I collapse in my seat, frustration fills the air.  My shoulders tense up- eyes narrow.

I  hit delete and walk away.

Resistance gives me a sly grin and calls it a day.

Have you ever felt like this?  The struggle to learn a new skill, establish a new healthy habit, write the perfect blog post or perhaps meet a sales quota is frequently met with overwhelming feelings of failure.   This is human nature to avoid that which is uncomfortable.  We internalize it deeply and often let it slowly chip away at our core being.

Embracing the struggle however is a biological necessity.  Often times, this struggle will present itself when we are at the ‘almost there’ mark. It’s the last push to the finish line.

“Neurons that fire together wire together”

brain neurons

Every single time we commit to learn any new skill,  healthy habit or achieve a goal, we are strengthening the neural connections in our brain.  This also holds true for actions that are less than desirable such as if we are quick to anger and spout off mean, hurtful statements to others before taking the time to think before we speak, practicing unhealthy eating habits, or texting while driving.  The more we say and do… The more we will say and do those same things over and over again. Right or wrong.


 So how do we honor the struggle and keep our neurons on the right path?

1-Commit to daily practice & create concrete, vivid images of what you want to learn/accomplish-  “I want to learn how to play chords C -G- E on the guitar.”

easy-guitar-chords

 

2-Consider having an accountability partner

3-Be aware and acknowledge to yourself and/or others when you are struggling- Umm, hello this is me hand raised!

4-Pay attention to your mistakes and use them as guides for improving

5-Never attach mistakes to self worth- I Am Enough!

6-Celebrate small successes and keep moving forward

 

In the films Finding Nemo and Finding Dory, we came to admire the quirky blue tang fish “Hi,  I’m Dory” and learn that despite Dory’s frequent blunders and  every ten second repeats due to memory loss, “Hi, I’m Dory” –  that we need to all…

dory

 

 

 

 

 

 

Resistance

 

In Steven Pressfield’s book The War of Art, the central theme throughout is how to identify, understand and beat the beast of Resistance that is ever present in all of us.  It wears many masks-it is fear-procrastination-victimhood-self doubt-love-rationalization.  Resistance has one goal- Win!  Thank you In Momma’s View for suggesting I participate.  I’d rather not nominate anyone specific just hop in and share a quote that really resonates with you. 🙂

Resistance 1

 

I’m So Afraid

I’m so afraid my parents won’t agree with my decision to move- 

This is part of the conversation I recently had over lunch with a former student.   This young lady has her act together and knows what she wants and is letting fear of judgment stand in her way.

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NEWSFLASH… PEOPLE WILL JUDGE YOU

We talked about the pros & cons and how she could best communicate her decision to her folks to whom she greatly admires and respects.  Her parents don’t have to agree with her decision and she understands that she very well may be judged by family and others- and that’s ok as long as she is true to who she is and pursues her aspirations with vigor.

Some of the things I’ve been judged for…

  •  my patriotic values
  • physical appearance
  • advocacy work for vets
  • how I parent my children
  • finances
  • my personal dream
  • and on it goes…

Often without conscious and malicious intent, people will make harsh and insensitive statements, judgments about all things large and small from ones political leanings, to  clothing styles.  It is part of human nature and partially based on our own personal experiences.

The greatest judgment one needs to make is the reflection you see in the mirror.  Surround yourself with those who support you, who will help you grow and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

It’s ok, to be nervous or afraid in starting a new adventure – just don’t allow fear of judgment by others  dictate or determine who you are.  Only you can choose to create the person you want to be.

Courage is not the absence of fear  but the ability to overcome it._1313996176459

What’s Your Dream? 

Ever since I moved away from my beloved  state of North Carolina, I have been dreaming of the day when I can buy a home there so I can once again- hike the trails, play in the cricks  and sit down on my wooden swing on the front porch with a glass of sweet iced tea like my grandpa used to make and  hang my sign…  Home Sweet Home…

This is my personal lifelong dream.  

However, this big dream won’t come to fruition by wishing it so or waiting for someone else to make it come true.

Many of us daydream of having a better paying or more enjoyable career- being more physically fit- debt free-a bigger house and the list goes on… Many of our lofty daydreams are just that… daydreams and that’s ok.

What about that one dream you hold sacred, that eats away at you day in and day out- years go by-the dream that still lives in your heart and gut?

Yep, this is me in my element with a dear friend of mine who knows I will make this dream a reality! Ain’t that right, Jen! 🙂

The fundamental difference between those that dream and those that are able to make their dreams a reality is a two-fold question?

1. Do you have a specific action plan in place to accomplish your dreams/goals?

action plan

-My action plan is written down.

-I revisit this plan once a month and make adjustments where needed.

-I have a set amount of money that is automatically set aside.

–  A  time frame is established.

-I have narrowed down my deisred locations.

– I keep visual reminders of my dream within sight.

 

2. Do you have the grit to stay the course and/or  right the ship when setbacks occur? 

gritLet’s get real here… life happens. When my son was diagnosed with a major health problem last year, my dream, my plan took a major blow and had to be put on hold.  It’s easy to give up and throw in the towel when life gets really hard and things happen -sometimes  beyond our control.

 What matters is that you get back up- you right the ship- you make your dreams come true.

 

What are your dreams?  

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